By Guest Columnist Tiernan

Week 9 Recap

Alright Lounge! Week 9 has come and gone! What have we learned?

First off, tensions ran high through out the week, many people pointing fingers and even a declaration for a vote of no confidence for the commissioner! Hamilton and Boise were at Fairport’s throats! Fairport stated that they would be more than happy to have Boise and Hamilton as feeder teams for Fairport. A complaint was brought forth, but the commissioner did nothing! Furthermore, a complaint was raised against The Herd for Unleaguesmenlike conduct, and the commissioner vowed to review it. As of yet, nothing has happened.

But enough with the off the field drama! Lets look at what happened during the week! In the battle of Cincinnati, The Crackpipes came out on top. Hamilton blundered and left a 20+ point player on their bench, falling to 2 and 7, allowing the Pipes to improve to a much needed 4 and 5, keeping playoff hopes alive.

The Catgirls managed to out Chungus the Chungus Champions, with a close defeat on the away field. Overall, it was a well fought game, and each team should be proud of their performance.

Now onto the controversial matchup that probably caused all the off the field drama, the Bussies at Fairport! Fairport secured their spot at the top of the Brite division, crushing Boise by almost 50 points! Fairport was even able to pull off this tremendous win with Gabe Davis scoring no points! Boise was left wondering whether they should have put in Baker Mayfield after the game…

Of course, everyone wants to know about the KOKs! Unfortunately, the KOK’s couldn’t edge another win, and fell to the Three ways in a relatively quiet game. The only notable outcome is that star wide receiver Jamarr Chase may have edged too far, and may not be seen this week while recovering.

From the other side of the league, a matchup in the ProtoBot Division. The Qwerty versus the Vertiboys! With a close yet high scoring game, the Qwerty managed to beat the VertiBoys, keeping a hold on second place and making a run for 1st. Should the Njigbas falter and the Qwerty run hot, we could see the division leader be upended!

Our favorite team of the season, the HERD! (boo’s are herd from everywhere). Somehow, with only 6 players on their team, they managed to demolish Team MeekDADDY and show the league why they are a force to be reckoned with. If only they had the 5 running backs that other teams had and thought ahead to hog them all, maybe they could’ve increased the whooping from 30 to 50 points! We reached out to Team MeekDADDY for a comment, but so far we’ve only heard wailing and screams from their bedroom.

A tough fought yet hard game between the GNUs and the GLDC, nothing notable from this game. They both showed up and played hard, but most players underperformed and the game went without conflict. The GNU’s did however grant the GLDC their second win of the season, meaning only 1 team is left with just 1 win.

And finally, the team the entire league wants to take down, the Njigba’s! Their fight at home with the Ween was an epic one! Only a 4 point margin, but the Njigba’s showed they were top dog and held off the Ween. An epic battle in Paris, and we still have a lot more to see from both sides of this matchup!

Weekly Awards

In year two of Lounge Ballin’ we will hand out two awards per week. The first of these is the SwoleKonnor Award. This award is presented to the week’s strongest team as voted on by you, the reader. This week’s nominees are:

• The HERD: Nominated by ESPN Analytics, for overachieving by 36.2 points and bringing back the win. They also had 2 of the 3 highest scoring players, with C.J. Stroud proving, that he may in fact be HIM. (Nominated by ESPN)

• Fairport: They brought the sickest burn to the group, telling not one but two teams they were only good enough to be feeder teams, and fending off league accusations left and right. Fairport also managed to beat their opponents by almost 50 points, giving another notch to them being Swole Konnor material. (Nominated by me, for them having a pretty good game)

• The Njiba’s, because we might as well lend some credit a top dog in the league. (Nominated by me, because idk)

The SwoleKonnor Award for Week 9 was awarded to the Fairport Phishermen!

The Wide Konnor Award is presented to the week’s worst performer or for the most embarrassing blunder. This week’s nominees are:

• Team MeekDADDY: For falling to the HERD. Not only did they have 3 more healthy players, but they still lost by 30 points. What a blunder!

• A rare occurrence in the league, but a nomination tied together! The Bussies and Hamilton! These 2 teams would share the Wide Konnor award, for raising havoc and for taking a sick burn from Fairport, being called feeder teams! Ouch, that ego

• The Catgirls, AKA Commissioner Tim. He was the center of some very large off the field drama, and he resigned his duties as league recapper, hence why I write to you now.

The Wide Konnor Award for Week 9 was awarded to Team MeekDADDY!