By Guest Columnist Tiernan

2023-2024 Season Recap

Ladies, gentlemen, Lounge Ballers and people of the interwebs, it is my humble duty to bring you the final recap of the 2023 Season, the recap of the postseason, and the final league standings! From 16 spry, young, and eager teams just a short 18 weeks ago, some have prevailed and some have fallen. We have seen thrilling victories, tragic defeats, and the unthinkable wins from a team that we all thought unwinnable. There have been memes made, rivalries forged, rages encountered, and sportsmanship all around. The owners have had their feuds, bad trades have been allowed and quite ridiculous trades refused. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the final standings.

In first place, claiming the LBFL trophy for the second year in a row, I present to you The Fairport Phishermen! Fairport ended the season 10-4, and was the fan favorite to win it all. Fairport has had a stunning season, and it all came down to Quarterback Josh Allen in the final game of the season to win it all against their fearsome opponent. Josh Allen, no stranger to pressure, put on an amazing performance, and as the Dolphins fell, making the Bills reign triumphant, so did the second place team fall to the Phishermen.

In Second Place, none other than Team MeekDADDY! Having come into the playoffs with the statistically best score of 12-2, they were ESPN Analytics fan favorites to win it all! They fought hard, but unfortunately their savior Calvin himself couldn’t boost MeekDADDY over the edge to win it all.

In Third Place, bringing home a respectable bronze to the Synthwave Division, we have the Skyline Chili Three-ways! The lone representative from the division, they fought hard coming in with an 8-6 record. They put up a fight and were able to hold off their opponent in the end.

In Fourth, we have THE HERD. THE HERD entered the playoffs 8-6. THE HERD had controversy throughout the season, with their owner falsely accusing other owners of hoarding running backs in a very controversial quote. The market was slim this year in the RB lineup. Nonetheless, without a bench full of running backs, THE HERD proved that you don’t have to have a deep lineup to score a high final spot in the league.

At Fifth, we have the Trennins Qwerty. They came into the playoffs 11-3, and they played their hearts out. Unfortunately, with an untimely elimination, they were not competing for the crown. Their season was a blast to watch, and all Qwerty fans eagerly await next season.

At Sixth, we have Sween’s Ween. They entered the playoffs with a 7-7 record, and were the 9th overall seed. However, the Ween showed that no mater what your rank is, you can go far and put up a very good fight. They certainly deserved their final place.

At Seventh, none other than the illustrious HF GNUs. They also boasted a 7-7 record. They certainly fought all season and made it to the playoffs in style. They pulled off a great upset for the 7th place spot against a fan favorite, and we eagerly await their next season.

At Eighth, fan favorite and controversial Njigbas in Paris. Entering the playoffs at 10-4, it appeared as if nothing could stop this tank of a team. With a shocking defeat in the playoffs, the Njigbas quickly fell to the bottom of the rankings as players hit the bench to save themselves for the next season. Keep an eye on the Njigbas, they have a potential to be scary next year.

At Ninth, the Chungus Champions. They got even wider this year and more chungusy. With a record of 8-6, they slid quietly into the playoffs and put themselves on the board as a contender. They knocked off their opponent easily for the ninth place spot, solidifying themselves on the board.

At Tenth, the Covington Catgirls. Boasting a 7-7 record, they did remarkably well this year. After being eliminated from the playoffs, they signed Tom Brady to help coach a young team to success. Expect next year to be a big year for the Catgirls.

At Eleventh, a shocking name, the Boise Business Bussies! Ending at dead last in the regular season with a 2-12 record, the Bussies quickly climbed the consolation ladder and demolished every team, taking the top spot out of the playoffs. Is this the beginning of a comeback ark? A quote from owner Joe to cap off the season: “The Bussies are back in Business.”

At Twelfth, we have the kOkmagics. A team that just one year ago went winless, they ended 6-8 this year. The kOk’s have had a rebuilding year, and it seems like next year, they very well could go all the way.

At Thirteenth, the LA VertiBoys. The VertiBoys put out a decent showing with a 6-8 season. However, in the playoffs they were quiet, and took their spot quietly. Expect this team to make some key offseason moves to be a powerhouse next year.

At Fourteenth, we have the Clifton Crack Pipes. With just a 4-10 record, the Pipes had a bad year. Their loyal fans stood by them nevertheless, and we expect next year to look better. Rumors have it they have a solid draft strategy in place to put themselves in the top half next year.

At Fifteenth, we have the Hamilton Football Team. With a 3-11 record, they performed better than expected, but still terribly. With some mid-season drama and name controversy, the HFT had more off the field problems than on the field problems. Expect a shake-up this season, as head coach Hamilton F. Needle has been released from the team.

And finally, at Sixteenth, the gli ladri di culo. With a 3-11 record, they bring up the bottom of the pack. High hopes for this team this season, they were projected to meet playoff berth from day one. Some mishaps along the way lead to this team not gelling, and we expect some major moves in the offseason.

At this time, please congratulate the 2023 LBFL teams! We encourage you to join us at the LBFL Honors on February 9. The 2023 season has been spectacular, and the owners are hard at work prepping the 2024 season to be even better! We wish to remind you all, this is a game, the players are human, and the owners, are indeed trash. Thank you all for a wonderful 2023 season, cheers to 2024!